Merry Christmas

My Ma195a.6 exam last Thursday marked the end of academic requirements due for the year. And I feel I did pretty good. Probably a few missteps and mistakes but I'll gladly take that over any other alternative. I should be happy - I should have been happy since Thursday. But I'm not.

This Christmas season was the first time I've ever given out as many gifts as I did. And this was the first Christmas season it actually felt easy to spend that much money on people who were neither my roommates or part of my family (though I consider them family). I also received the best set of gifts this year. I received the thing I wanted so much I was willing to wait six months for it. I received something that I had no idea I wanted so much. (Yes, I have amazing friends who know what I want even before I know it.) But best of all, I got what I've never had the courage to admit to myself that I needed: people who actually give a damn about me.

Overall, this semester and season would have been so great so far had I not been an emotional wreck. I've fallen "in lesbians" (for those who don't get it, you've missed one great movie this year) with the wrong person - a person who, after months of contemplating, I think I probably could never really be with. Ah, Cupid, thou really art a blind bastard. So, allow me to borrow what could possibly be the most well-known and most quoted lines from the movie "Love Actually":

With any luck, by next year, I'll be going out with one of these girls:

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But for now, let me say that, without hope or agenda - just because it's Christmas, and at Christmas you tell the truth - to me, you are perfect. And my wasted heart will love you until you look like this:

If I really do have readers for this blog who go through the entirety of my entries, seeing as this is probably going to be my last entry for the year 2010, let me wish you all a merry Christmas out of deference to that long-standing social contract. May the rest of your days and your nights be filled with happy thoughts, great company, and all the mouth-watering delicacies that make you ecstatic before you consume them and devout weight-watchers after. And may the rest of my days this year be filled with them too. It's not too late for things to turn around after all.